Take Care of Yourself

She said "take care of yourself".
But what is myself without her?
How can I take care of myself when I slept all day knowing she's moving on.
How can I take care of myself when I don't have the strength to get up.
How can I take care of myself when the only reason I woke up is because my family noticed.
How can I take care of myself when I've lost everything I love and the only thing keeping me going was seeing her again.
How can I take care of myself when I don't care about anything else.
How can I take care of myself when I hate myself?

I thank God she's okay. I thank God that she's improving. I thank God that she's happy. That's all I ever wanted from the beginning. That is how I justify living.

But why can't I be happy alongside her? Why can't I have hope? Why won't this ever work? Why can't we make it work? Who says it can't? Why am I not worth fighting for? Why do I value people more than they do me? Why are promises broken so easily? Why was I even born? Why is it like this?

I'll take care of myself.
But I can't and I won't forget you. Don't tell me to forget. My own good is not my concern.
I'm sorry, but I'll still be here and still have hope.
Otherwise I don't know what to do.
I love you, I'm sorry.